The World of Grandpa Don

I Can't Do It Myself! 

In times gone by, families lived together, often from birth until they death. Grandparents, parents, and children shared their lives and they learned what they needed to know by osmosis, without really being aware of  the process. Not so in the modern world.

It starts very young for many. "I can do it myself!" With infants trying to eat before attaining the dexterity and hand - eye coordination necessary to manipulate a spoon. Later, it's buttoning a coat or tying a shoe lace. This is good and a necessary part of the learning process. We learn from our failures and through difficulty. 

Later in life, it gets more complicated. I'll skip the adolescent years during which we can be absolutely rebellious about it or we may be submissive, waiting for the days of freedom. Eventually we come to a time when we think we can handle it all ourselves. No, we don't necessarily think we "know it all", but we feel that we want to make our own mistakes. We know that the older generations made mistakes and we feel that we can avoid them or deal with them. 

What we don't realize is that God made us as social animals for a reason. On other pages I have emphasized the "giving" and "loving" aspects of our being social animals. (See We Are Social Animals and Jesus and Animals.) But God made us as individuals who are limited and ... this is has become a very complicated world.  We do not show weakness when we ask for help, we show wisdom. 

We are not (usually) pioneers in a wilderness. Someone has been there before and learned the trail and the pitfalls. If we are smart, we can tap that knowledge. Why endure the pain of making our own mistakes when the experience of others is available for the asking. We grow only in cooperating with each other and the cooperation involves people who help and people who are helped. At various times, we are one or the other and if we do not accept help graciously we are not a working part of the group. 

I am 71 years old and I need all the help I can get. This is not limited to help with the physical things that I can no longer do but includes asking for help in making decisions and choices. I will take that help and join the "Circle of Giving" by helping someone else when the opportunity arises. 

Don Plefka
9/10/02

Also see A Creed