The World of Grandpa Don

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A Wake Up Call

At a recent meeting of the Parish Life Board we were asked to brainstorm the problem of the lack of participation by Catholics in the life of their parish. By coincidence, I had just submitted my church bulletin article for March 10th, 2002. In that article I mentioned that it wasn't until we were jolted by a very serious crisis that Anne and I became aware that we owe something to God and began our involvement in the parish community. (See article.)

Why did it take so long? We certainly must have been aware of opportunities to volunteer and we must have known there was a need. But, speaking for myself, I intentionally avoided involvement in our parish. I figured that my $5.00 donation every week was enough to fulfill any obligation.  I reasoned that my obligations to my family were paramount to obligations to strangers, if indeed, there was an obligation to them.

Religion for me was related to getting to Heaven. I was living, as best I could, by not breaking any of the Ten Commandments. I felt sorry for the unfortunate and contributed to charity so someone could help them. And, I went to church every Sunday. But, there were more than enough demands on my time as it was. I worked long hours to provide for my family and I deserved any free time I could get!

Then, I lost the control that I thought I had. Anne was sick and getting worse. She had diabetes and the complications of the disease were showing up. She had pain and was tired all the time. She was sure that all her problems were due to the diabetes. Several family members died early from the same thing. She was depressed and becoming more so. She was a miserable person to live with and I wished I could escape and thought of various dreadful ways to do it.

She had so many pains that she neglected to mention all of them to her doctor. When she finally did tell him of a pain that was keeping her awake all night, he sent her for a series of tests.  The cardiologist asked, "When did you have your heart attack?"  A few days later in February of 1986 Anne had bypass surgery.

In the days prior to surgery, Anne had a transformation. She resolved to put her life into the hands of God. Due to the diabetes, she was expected to have a difficult time and a slow recovery. However, a Chaplin, after visiting her said, "I have never met anyone with a greater faith in God. She helped me a lot." Her recovery was better than anyone expected and she was truly a new person. She became a joy to live with again.

It wasn't long afterward that she hesitantly volunteered to teach Religious Education. She had never gone to a Catholic School and she didn't know if she knew enough. But Anne decided that she needed to share herself and her abilities and she knew that the Holy Spirit would guide her.  When Anne expressed an interest in joining a Renew Small Group I said I would go with her. She needed my support to get started and I knew I could always get out of it by working late. Once started, I never missed a meeting. We came to know some great people and I came to recognize my spirituality. 

Our, and especially my, involvement in ministry grew and so did our appreciation of life. The next fourteen years of our marriage were the best. They were filled with love for each other and our family. I discovered that the more I gave, the more I received. That includes the weekly monetary donation to the parish. I found that it wasn't about religion, it was about spirituality. Religion is merely a human aid to personal spirituality. And spirituality is an awareness of a personal relationship with God and His need for us to live in communion with our fellow beings. We are our brother's keeper. And, we are dependent on our brother.

In July of 2000, Anne was born to Eternal Life. It was a shock but it was not devastation. We had discussed death often and it was, and is, not terrifying. I am grateful to God for the years with Anne and especially the last fourteen. Those last years had prepared me for her loss and they prepared me for these days without her. I have my family and we support each other. I also have my extended family in my parish and we also support each other. I could not survive without both families.

But, what took so long for that wake up call? Why did it take a terrible illness and near death to bring me to life? If the last fourteen years of our life were so good, why didn't we start sooner? I could use the excuse that wisdom comes with age and I had to wait for it, but there are many young people who seem to have found this spiritual wisdom. What if Anne had died in 1986, would I have received a wake up call or would I have fallen deeper in despair? I don't know. 

My response to the problem of Catholic non-participation is this message:

WAKE UP! 

It's not just about keeping the Ten Commandments and going to church once a week. 
That will not get you to heaven! 

Don't wait for the lightning strike or the sun to gyrate in the sky! 
Read Mathew 25:31-46 and see what Jesus says about the last judgment, ... then act on it. 

Don't wait for a crisis in your life to awaken you. 
... Start now. 

That message should be shouted in every church in the land. 

Don Plefka
03/02/02

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