The World of Grandpa Don

Take the Children to the Wake

There was a recent article in Time magazine about a number of children who had committed murders and are now in prison. A common thread was that now in prison, they have become aware of the enormity of their actions. They have killed someone. Their action is final, ... irreversible. 

We all want to protect our children from evil and even unpleasantness. The problem is that they see violence and death on TV and in the movies all the time. Then they see the same actors alive in another movie some time later. We even try to impress upon them that 'it's not real', 'just a story'. They play games and shoot a playmate, ... 'Bang, Bang, ... you're dead', and the friend falls to the ground to get up in a few seconds. Death is not real to them. To a few, it is so 'not real' that they don't even think of it when something triggers them to take action against some one or a group who has wronged them. They don't think of it until they are prosecuted and convicted!

I don't think that we can ever (in our life times) do away with violence in movies and on TV. And I don't think that we can prevent the kids from seeing them or from playing war games or 'cops and robbers'. But we can balance that with a healthy knowledge of what life is all about. When a family member, friend or school mate dies they should see them in the coffin. They should know that death is part of life and something we all face eventually. They should also know that it is FINAL and a great loss to the loved ones of the deceased. They should also know that a premature death is not only a loss to those left behind, but an end to what could have been a very productive life.

Yes, we look forward to Everlasting Life after death. But we are born for a purpose and no one on earth has the right to decide that a life should end. The purpose of that life may be yet to come.

The greatest gift we can give to our children is love. The next is knowledge of life, our purpose on earth, and a sense of responsibility. I am so thankful that my grandchildren have always gone to wakes and that their parents have taught them about life and death.

Don Plefka
5/26/01