The World of Grandpa Don

Children Need Love

A man accused Jean Keaton of depicting Jesus as a pedophile! (Please see "Christ's Embrace" and others on her web site http://www.keatonprints.com/index.htm ) 
How could he think that? (I will answer that later. )

Twisted thinking such as this is robbing our children. People who would normally hug a child to give comfort or affection are reluctant to do so because of the fear of being accused. They may be relatives, teachers, clergy, neighbors, or just friends.

Yes, there are pedophiles out there along with other sexual predators. But not everyone is like that. We may get the impression that sexual gratification is the most important thing in life because television shows, magazines and movies depict it as such, but it is not normal. These depictions of life, condition our minds to accept it as 'normal'. It will be normal only if we allow it to be. But, I digress.

My point is that children are born to this world needing love and the closeness of hugging. (See The Rescuing Hug ) My favorite game with all of my grandchildren was to 'capture' them as they passed by and hold them tight, telling them that I loved them and would never let them go. However, they soon learned that the when they said the 'magic word', "please", they were suddenly released. All of them, without exception, loved this little game and would repeatedly pass close, enticing me to get them. Sometimes they would immediately say "please" but often they said other words or nothing in order to prolong the hug. 

The purpose of the game of course was to teach the power of the word "please". But it also was a way to get a hug from grandpa and to be told they were loved. I still do this with the younger ones, but alas, some have become too big. The tradition continues with a hug and a kiss as a greeting and at departure, from the youngest to the 22 year old grandson. (And, ... my children would not think of greeting or departing without a hug and a kiss also.)

That is not so with many people and in many families. As children grow, they are taught not to show affection. Sometimes not consciously, but by example. Fathers are often the worse offenders. They do not show affection because it is 'unmanly'. As a result, their children are afraid to show this supposed weakness and even worse, the wives are deprived of any affection outside the bed. (But that is another subject.) 

Children who have been denied the external displays of love and affection grow up perpetuating the mistake, thinking this is 'normal'. As they become adults, many attach any such display of affection with sexual gratification. Thus we have the man who looks at Jean's depiction of love and comfort and sees a depiction of Jesus as a sexual predator.  Another possible cause of his outlook is that he may have been the victim of abuse himself and as a result sees a display of affection as a threat. 

Our children and grandchildren need all the love they can get. Let's not deprive them of it. Help put love back into the world. If parents do their job, the children will differentiate between affection and improper advances. They will react appropriately. 

Be more kind than you need to be with children and adults. And men, ... hug your wife a lot ... and, ... do it in front of your children!

(Grandpa) Don Plefka
07/30/2002