The World of Grandpa Don

Marriage

Special note to anyone contemplating marriage (or already married) I offer some unsolicited advice. I have seen two movies recently that had profound truth embedded within. The first was "Shadow Land" that includes the fact that the good comes with the bad. There is no possibility that there will be no problems in a marriage ( or in life, for that matter). Do not enter marriage with the expectation of perfect bliss. The second was "The Devine Secretes of the Ya Ya Sisterhood" wherein the wife asks the long suffering husband, "Have I ruined your life?". He replies, "When I swore 'for better or for worse', I knew it was a coin flip". 

The point is that there will be bumps in the road and sometimes they will be mountainous bumps. There isn't much you can do to prepare for them. But when they come, remember that you swore to stick with it 'for  better of for worse'. If you are still single and feel that you can not make that kind of commitment, ... don't pretend to make it. Surviving those rough spots with love and selflessness is one of the things that serves to make the bond between husband and wife all the stronger. 

Having said that, I believe that if a partner has not truthfully and whole heartedly made that commitment, there is a question of the existence of valid marriage. 

Don Plefka
January, 2003