The World of Grandpa Don

Keeping Score

Keeping score is essential in sports. The most intensive score keeping, I think, is in baseball. That, more than any sport is a game of statistics, not only for the team but for each individual player. The sports announcers for major league baseball can tell you how a particular hitter performs against a left handed pitcher with men on base and two out. But then of course, in the particular game, the hitter may exceed expectations or under perform to the disappointment of all. But that is why they play the game. It's unpredictability is it's attraction.

There are score keepers in life also. I visited a relative recently. She is a score keeper. The conversation always goes to how this person is attentive to her, this other a little less and so-and-so doesn't like her at all.

When she asked, "Doesn't one of my daughter-in-laws treat me better than the other", I was speechless ... I simply could not answer. The reason is that I don't keep score!

Some people run their lives by keeping a mental list of how they perceived they were treated by this one and that one. And then, they respond in kind. It seems as if they are always seeking to be loved and always looking for others to show concern for them before they will reciprocate. And, very often they will consistently record the errors and strike outs and forget the base hits and sacrifice flies.

I am very fortunate that very early in my life, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, I learned that people are not always going to think that I am the most important person in the world. Those I meet will often be having a bad day. There are times when they will be overwhelmed by their problems and not see mine. So, I never keep score. I find myself able to treat others well even when they seem to be less than kind to me. At least I try. Sometimes I am sure that I fail but it is not something I have consciously decided to do because of a score card I keep on the person.

Those who keep score, and treat others based on it, find themselves very lonely people. They don't understand why nobody loves them. And they certainly don't understand why I don't have a favorite daughter-in-law or a favorite son, or child. I am told by the person in question that I am so fortunate that all my kids and grandkids love me so much and her's don't.  She doesn't understand why they are that way.

I don't always agree 100% with things others do, or don't do, but I don't love them less because of it. They are all individuals with their own personalities, talents and life styles. They, thank God, are different from me. So we will not always agree. But I love them and I try to love them as God loves us all, Unconditionally. It is my responsibility to show love.

Will you join me in praying for the score keepers? God loves them. I Try.

Don Plefka
6/25/03