The World of Grandpa Don

Acceptance vs. Tolerance

To some there words are synonymous. As a matter of fact, when I look them up in my computer's thesaurus one is listed as a replacement for the other. I think, however, that there is a very critical difference in their meaning.

I have said on other occasions that I have a problem with "tolerance". When you tolerate a person you, in effect, agree to let that person coexist in spite of sometimes disliking the person. You can even hate and tolerate at the same time. You can be forced  by law or peer pressure to tolerate but it is often done grudgingly.

It is quite another thing to "accept" another who's appearance, beliefs, or culture are quite different than yours. You can accept the person as well as the differences, finding the good in them. It does not follow that you need to adopt their ways. But, in acceptance of the person as a fellow child of God you open yourself to respecting and the rejection of hate.

Tolerance leaves room for distrust and this is easily perceived by both individuals. It keeps people apart and leaves little opportunity for healing.

Acceptance brings people closer together by creating an atmosphere of trust. It is possible to accept the differences and in doing so understand them and the reasons that there are differences.

When we tolerate a person we very often avoid contact and communication. Tolerance sustains the differences. 

Acceptance fosters communication.  People often find, when they communicate that their values are similar or even the same. When it comes right down to it, it is the values by which a person lives his life which are important, not his customs, the food he eats, the clothes he wears, or what name he uses for God.

So, let us start by accepting. It may lead to the love of neighbor that Jesus taught.

Don Plefka
7/26/03