The World of Grandpa Don

This poem by Dean Alfange was a support and guide for about twenty years of my life. In high school my father, knowing I tended to be insecure and introverted gave this piece to me on a small card. I carried it in my wallet for over twenty years, referring to it whenever I needed support. It was my "Did it My Way" card! 

Somewhere along the way, I lost the card. I missed its message and I looked everywhere for it. For years I remembered most of the message and tried to live as I thought it suggested. Now I realize that it was gone for a reason. It had done its job and was not only no longer needed, but was becoming a hindrance to me. The message in this poem had become one of isolation. I believed that I didn't need anyone. Life was all ME!

I thought of Alfange's words recently when one of my grandchildren approached school with great bravado. In fact, I saw a very insecure person, much like my little dog barking at the dark to scare away what may be out there. The message within the poem was my encouragement to bark at the dark, but in doing so, gradually gain confidence in myself. I could survive, learn, grow and eventually support a family.

With this creed I did not think I need a religious Creed. What it didn't tell me was that I could not do these things alone. I was benefiting from the support of many without realizing what was happening. It did not tell me that I owed so much to so many. It also did not tell me that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but, in fact, it is a sign of wisdom. 

We can have independence as long as it doesn't turn into isolation. And we can learn to accept help from those who give it without expecting repayment, and there are many who are there for that. All they expect is that you give help when someone else needs what you can give. (An example of The Circle of Giving)

Let us all be uncommon in our love and generosity toward others. Let us all be uncommonly grateful to God for all His gifts. Let us be uncommonly grateful for the people in our lives who have given much to us.  

My Dad gave me good advice. I just did not realize that I needed to use it as part of my foundation, to use it, to build on it, and to expand it.

Thanks Dad. ... I finally got the message. I love you.

For the entire poem go to My Creed.

 8/24/01