The World of Grandpa Don

"Stand up to Adversity" is what we are told all the time. When the bad times come, fight back, keep that chin up, be strong. The advice abounds! Unfortunately, in this rigid stance, we sometimes break under the strain. The defeat can be devastating. After all, we did our best and it wasn't enough. We have failed! This can, and often does, lead to depression. We are told that winning is everything and we have lost. But, was it the war, or just a skirmish in the course of our lives?

I looked out into my garden during a storm. The driving rain and wind had my 5' tall decorative grasses bent to the ground. I was sure they were destroyed and would be ugly the rest of the summer. But the next day, the storm was forgotten and the sun was bright. The gentle breeze was swaying the beautiful tassels of the tall grass which was as upright and regal as ever.

God made these grasses flexible so they would bend to the storm, giving it it's way. When the storm was over, it was able to return to it's previous stature, with very little permanent damage. There is a lesson here. Engineers have learned this lesson in designing bridges and tall buildings. They are built to give and bend so the elements do not break them. Even the destroyer to which I was assigned many years ago had flexible joints which allowed it to bend in the waves of a high sea thus preventing it from breaking due to stress. A boxer soon learns to "roll with the punches", reducing the impact of the blows from his opponent.

This "flexibility" is also a valuable trait to develop in our associations with others. When we are offended by the action or words of another, we often stiffen our back and fight back. In doing so, we create additional tension. This is especially true when our perceived antagonist is unaware that offence has been given. This can severely strain and even break a friendship or relationship. And, ... it may be needless. Flexibility is the key.

As we journey through the day, we should learn to expect some adversity, and know that there will be discord. We can be ready for it and be prepared to bend and let it roll off our back.

Did you ever know children to play in perfect harmony? It doesn't happen. Disagreements break out all the time. Intelligent parents learn not to get upset and especially not to interfere in these playmate "fights".

You hear stories of unwise parents charging over to the parents of a child who has had a disagreement with theirs and becoming embroiled in a parental battle only to realize that while they feud their children are playing together again in harmony. The kids instinctively bend, bounce back, and promptly forget this morning's disagreement. Where did we loose this childhood flexibility? The kids still have the flexibility that God built into them.

As Steven King says in his Forward of the first book in his "Dark Tower" series, "Only God gets it right the first time." How true! And, ... He knows that. So when we make a mistake, or a friend or relative offends, God knowing He didn't create perfect beings, forgives and keeps on forgiving. None of us is perfect no matter how much we try.

We must learn not to take so many things that happen to us as a personal affront. We can strive to cushion the blow by taking it as "one of those things" that occurs because of a mistake, and accident, a momentary lapse of  memory or composure, or temporary insanity.

And then there are the unexpected events. The car or the refrigerator breaks down. There is a traffic accident, the basement floods or the roof leaks. Sometimes things just happen! We know things like this are going to happen and they will be a major inconvenience as well as costly. But we tend to blame it on bad luck, and treat the unplanned events as things that should not happen. There is no way to plan for everything. In a space craft, they build in redundant computers and design so that if something fails, there is a backup to take over. Yet there are disasters. There is nothing certain in life! Be ready to bend with it, and work around it.

An affront may be real or perceived but how important is it really in the overall events of our lives? An event may be disruptive but we can learn to live with it. Sometimes we need to be able to bend a little. Sometimes, a lot! But when we learn to be flexible, we eliminate much of the stress, stress than can break us and make us miserable. 

It is a simple lesson that can be learned from grass.

Don Plefka
7/1/03