The World of Grandpa Don

Style or Substance

A complement is nice to receive. It reinforces confidence and conveys the interest of the person who gives it. A received complement makes you feel good. I am referring to sincere complements, not flattery.

I have received a number of them in relation to my contribution to Willard Scott's book, "The Older the Fiddle, the Better the Tune".

Two of those complements, placed side by side started me thinking. The first was from Fr. Steve Lanza. It was a public complement printed in the parish bulletin. His words were greatly appreciated because they were an affirmation of what I am trying to to do. Fr. Steve read my words and extracted the meaning. In his statement, he told me that I was doing the right thing not only in writing what I did but in conducting my life.
The second compliment was also sincere and made me feel good too. The giver read my words and thought the article was exceptionally well written. The complementer was showing the article to friends and relatives, proud of knowing someone who wrote so well. That's great.

But, did the message come through? Good style in writing or speaking is essential to getting ideas communicated. But the first complement, the one about the substance of the article was better received. It concerned the substance of my words which although more important than the style also told me that the style was good enough to carry the message.

Have I no humility? What is all this concern about complements? I'll tell you a true story. Shortly after putting this web site on line a couple years ago, a visitor from Germany said that he thought I was "fishing for komplements" (sic). I was horrified and wrote back immediately, denying such base motives.

'I certainly am not trying to take credit for what God has done in my life', was my reply. I even re-wrote "Who am I" to clarify my goals in publishing this web.

But WAIT! What is is I said about Fr. Steve's complement? It is an affirmation that I am doing something right.

There is much talk of "roll-models". And Scripture tells us that we are to be a light to guide others. That was never something to which I aspired. It was beyond me. I was to live a good life and stay humble!

Now, the intent of my writing, no, my LIFE, is to demonstrate that love, charity, and concern for others is a GOOD thing, that we can live that way, and I am here to prove it. And, in order to prove it, others must admire what I am doing. There, I said it! I WANT to be ADMIRED!

And, I want to be admired for the RIGHT things. Not like the street kid or entertainer who proudly says. "I'm BAD" in order to gain the admiration of others. Not like the person who goes along with bigotry and discrimination to prove they fit in with the crowd. Not like those who are afraid to display goodness for fear of being different. By the way, did you know that most of this bravado is all talk? I found that out years ago when I was in the Navy. Most of the sailor's bad reputation was self perpetuated lies.

At the same time, I do admit that it has taken God a long time to convince me to try being a Christian. A REAL one, not just in name. He created me. He gave me whatever talent I have. He sent the Holy Spirit to prod, cajole and show me the way. I humbly acknowledge God's gifts and humbly accept the complements knowing that they are the affirmation of the fruits of His grace.

I will accept the complements ... but the Glory is God's..