The World of Grandpa Don

. Defamation

Another "forward" email came into my mailbox last week that was sent by a patriot. It was in regard to Jane Fonda' actions during and after the war in Viet Nam. I did not forward the message or put it on this web site not because I disagreed with it but because to do so would not be in keeping with what I want my actions to be. Oh yes, I agree with the sender and the original author in their belief that the lady was wrong in her actions. She made a mistake (in my view). But ...

I can express my views, which are contrary to her views in that regard. It is my duty and privilege to do so. I should not, however, condemn her because she disagrees with me. I will not refuse to watch a movie in which she performs. I think she is a fairly good actor and I will not punish myself by depriving myself of the entertainment. If I refused to watch a movie because I did not agree with an actor's politics, religion, personal life or conduct, etc., I would not see many movies.

There is another reason I did not forward the story. I was taught that to malign another's character was sinful! It made no difference if the story was true or false, it was wrong to hurt someone, or even try to hurt someone by detraction, backbiting, backstabbing, belittlement, calumny, defamation, depreciation, disparagement, or scandal. Now obviously, I think, to be silent about the past of a sex offender or a serial killer would not be justified. But ... mistakes are made and a person has the right to live them down. We should not attempt to prejudice others in regard to someone's past actions.

There is also the matter of my own peace of mind. To continue a vendetta against a person is to carry a grudge. Father Bill said, at a recent mission, that to carry a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the enemy to die. They refer to "carrying" a grudge because it is a heavy burden to bear. Let it go! It was a long time ago and if we let ourselves do it, I'll bet we could find some good things this person did. I try to promote a simple concept ... "Be more kind than you need to be." This is a good place to start.

I know that there are those who see themselves as crusaders against people who, they feel, are wrong. OK, let them. I chose to try  not to use defamation as my tool to fight wrongs. 

P.S. My mom used to say, "If you can't say anything good about someone, don't say anything at all." (In my opinion ... Good advice.)